Why am I telling you this theory?
Good call pal….as you know Tuesday is Valentine’s Day, the day when couples express their love as if from next day onwards they will start living in different Galaxies… okay, leave it, anyway I never played the game, so I shouldn’t make rules. I think everyone…yes everyone wait for this day and plan big for this day… some as couple and few as single 🙂 [I belong to latter]
This is my 23rd valentine’s day and still I have hope that one day in my life I will celebrate this day. (What a confusing statement?) Its not that I am sitting here and staring these stupid monitor pixels and decided not to do anything about it and wait for a miracle that a girl will come in search of me like in some stupid Uday Chopra movie. I played my game not once but again and again…… ho…Ho…Don’t expect anything from this end……
The normal IQ people do resolutions on New Year…But I know few mammals do resolutions on Valentine’s day, “next time on this day I will be with a GIRL“…cool… I think everyone who is single and ready to mingle do this resolution but no one discuss such things, but secretly everyone does….okay …even I do. But in reality you will find me doing same resolution on this day next year also. And moreover to insult my injury, the girl for whom I made this resolution will be sitting in a coffee day and sipping coffee with some random guy.
I have my own stories of attempts which I did to celebrate valentine’s day as COUPLE…. but most of the time my partner would be my room mate, who is one more creature not better than me in any sense except NONSENSE . I think he is the one who made me realize that to be happy I should have a girl friend…. as if all the people on this planet who are single are nothing but Zombies. The very first time when I had this realization about my existence and root of happiness I started my venture, which most of the time turned out to be COMIC strip.
Trust me, quest for GOOD LOOKING girl is more adventurous than the ‘Columbus’ expedition to find new world. Sometime I feel like Indiana Jones, who will solve mystery by understanding what I am up to, because my chases started in confusion and ended in more confusions (as good as starting with logic low and ending at very, very logic low).
I really wonder how it happened first time…. whatever it was…. I just want to forget it….. but don’t know who designed this brain, it happens that it will remember data which I want to forget. When Miss Q who ditched me for first time saying that I look like her brother… instead she could have shot me dead with Bofors, how stupid I looked when I proposed Miss L in front of her boy friend… first time I felt gravitation is myth why not I am getting pulled inside the earth. And it will forget the things which I want to remember even though it is useless (when was the first time I met her…there goes SIXER)
Good Looking Girls (adj.): The female species which needs to fulfill more requirements than US visa application, from guy’s point of view
Boy Friend (verb, noun, abuse): It is a species which thinks that it is privileged (blessed) one…..but…..
Sometimes I feel why any of my stories didn’t click. I think my approach was NOT THAT GOOD (I really don’t know what it stands for). I really wonder after all these centuries of evolution there is no MANual to which I can refer for this APPROACH. I feel all these CMMI level 5 and six sigma are used where things go smooth without them and there is no standardization in most basic arena of life….. It’s true that its complicated to understand girl but come on…. at least one (koi…ek…mai…ka…laal)…. might have figured it out….. So after all these days of living in civilization, I feel all my ancestors were ‘really’ monkeys who couldn’t normalize one SMALL problem.
Finally I figured out the main area of problem……. it is communication (HR approach…) In most of conversations even though I was talking with her in English at the end of conversation I feel we were talking in two different languages (may be mine was more tribal). Is it not great that after one hour of call except my phone bill nothing changed between me and her? Whatever was my approach, it shaped my own character which I am still analyzing. Either I would get a complement that I am HUMOROUS as if I am Govinda, who laughs on his own jokes. If I get more closer then she might tell me how her ex boy friend ditched her….Bla…bla…bla… and use my shoulder to cry as if my shirt is meant to dry her ocean of tears and if I get more closer to her then she will tell what characters she wants in her man… (Sometime if you mix all these characters he won’t be any different than good looking Robot…)
Basically I really hate this building conversations with girl. It really hurts my non existing ethics when I know that there is no common factor between us except that her ancestors were also monkeys. Viz. where did you buy those cute pair of shoes (imagine…cute…that also shoes…), so how is your brother (as if her brother hunts dinosaurs everyday…..), What food you like most??? (i really thank God that she never answered as cooked octopus)
Actually to have a girl in my life I should be ready to answer stupid questions and should make choices which should be same as hers (then why those were called options… ) Viz. whom do you like more Amit sana or abhishek sawant (are they her cousins? Thank god she didn’t ask me to SMS my choice) Do you like Westlife?? (Common…I know what Westside is….) Do you smoke????? (No girl…if I am out of cash then I prefer Bee Dee also)… And in most of the cases I have to ADAPT myself to her environment (Thank you Darwin uncle….).
By reading the above lines anyone can tell that why I don’t have girl friend (most of you might be thinking that i don’t deserve one). Anyway this is me…. and this is my story….. I agree that I wrote above theory but still want to fall for someone, the reason may be I am living in present for the future… may be the bad person inside me wants to be “NOT THAT BAD”…or may be I want to be dumped one more time 🙂