Archive for the ‘mood’ Category

Facebook mania



Other day I met a guy who religiously gave me pieces (along with chicken pieces) of advice about everything that ever existed under sun, moon and Andromeda… starting from first tree living amphibians till the chicken which crossed road to reach KFC.… but one comment was particularly catchy, “In life, you either just follow others or stand out and be a Mark Zuckerberg… haa…haa…”

That was quite interesting comment… (including his ‘Raavan’ style laugh)… These days it is all about Facebook a.k.a. FB (to save word count)… it’s all about updating status, sharing photos, commenting, re-commenting, liking and again liking…

Even Hollywood folks made movie, ‘Social Networking’… (it’s not that Hollywood always makes movies on latest trends of our lives… see, we don’t have blue men with tails walking around shopping malls but we have movie, Avatar – 3D… hence the proof 🙂 ). But during the dawn of PC era, Hollywood had made a movie, Pirates of Silicon valley, based on rivalry between Bill Gates and Steve Jobs… and now it is creator of Facebook.

Even, ‘I- the arbitrary’ is writing blog about FB… hua.. haa…

There are about 500 million users in one place… that means there are more people on FB than combined population of Indonesia, Vietnam, Philippines, Thailand, and Nepal… (it was 1 day ago… so I am not responsible if people of these places are busy increasing population, just to prove me wrong…)….  so if you are not on FB then it is as good as you are not part of these countries… (stupid conclusion of good analysis :))

Every decade ends with something… Last decade ended with hues and cries of Y2K… and turn of this decade is witnessing vast people leading web (2.0) enabled social life… 🙂

Definitely FB has changed our life… soon our talks will become like this or have become like this,

Me: Machi, Want to go out for drink (s)?

Friend: No, I already had 10 beers in office

Me: Cool man… office party??

Friend: Nope… I added FB application, ‘drink till your liver falls out of your kidneys’

Let me get into my analytical shoes… and take up the useless task of classification of FB users:

  • I-live-here: These people literally live on FB…“today I ate banana leaf for lunch… hee….hee…”, ‘oh!! Sensodyne toothpaste is so tasty…’ but eventually their sleeping brain wakes up and they stop it…
  • U-Tubers: These people enjoy sharing videos… you rarely see anything else from these people but just videos… hope they are getting paid from Youtube for this noble act
  • Go getters: I hardly know any person who leads interesting life (except my friend who builds gliders with RD engines… aayeee…) to write interesting status… so these people start doing something different so that they can put it on FB… “today I ate with only two fingers”, “today I ran faster than auto-rickshaw”… if they don’t do anything different… then they search something on Google… like, translation of some old Chinese poem, or Romanian philosopher’s unheard quote… and put it there
  • Smartass: These people are watching you… and even before you finish writing your status they will be ready with some smartass comments for it… as per my micro-mini theory, usually software programmers can do this better considering their vast experience in writing comments to the code than actual code… (hee… hee…)
  • Likers: These people ‘like’ a lot… for no good reason they like everything posted on FB… these are the real criminals… if someone doesn’t like your non-sense then will you do it again… so it’s not who puts the stupid status but the likers
  • Watchers: These mammals… don’t do any of the above… they strongly believe FB is for Narcissists… but nonetheless these people spend more time on FB, just to see what others are doing… they know whose relationship status is ‘God-knows’, who went to Zulu for honeymoon,  who ate banana leaf for lunch… so any info about their friends will be on there key-board-tips 🙂

And me, being universal man, I fall in all categories… sometimes I put videos, sometimes Chinese quotes and sometimes aimless blogs… all in one 🙂

I am not sure if it is fad or way of life now onwards… but surely most of the things have moved to FB… like you don’t have to visit NEWS portals anymore… just follow them on FB… one of the company HR told (sheepishly) that for job listing follow us on FB… isn’t it weird??? If I want job with your company I will rather visit your company website than FB… anyway !!!

I am with opinion that everyone should be in par with the latest trends with the exception of my uncles and my family… because public forum like FB is too risky (unless FB comes up with a family version with God’s photos as background and devotional songs as statuses), too stupid (mom: you never go and see your own farm but play this stupid game (farmville) on computer) and too annoying (to answers my uncles’ questions)

My uncle (recent victim of FB) asked, “What is the ‘poke’? What should I do now?”

I told, ‘if the guy who poked you is at arm distance… then stretch your arm and give a tight slap… if he is far away wait till he comes in reach and then slap’ :-))

Anyway wind is blowing FB way… and as a farmer by blood, I believe in harvesting when wind is blowing… so I am on FB… till…


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Searching has been part of mankind since the time when nomadic man forgot his animal skin dress when he went for swimming… since then, we have been searching one or other thing… some people search very deep things, like secret to eternal happiness, and some people, like me, search for simple things, “hey!!! Where the heck is my towel???”

Long back people used to go to spiritual gurus, teachers or enlightened person to seek answers to their questions… but now they simply ‘Google it’. In one of the pub escapade my drunken friend was shouting “after God, only Google has all the answers” (that’s kinky:)

There are hundreds of books about why GOOGLE is so GOOGLE… but I think secret behind Google’s success is as simple as finding ‘lost tooth brush…’

Classified story about inception of Google goes like this…
One fine day morning, in Stanford University canteen, two random guys called Addy and Totu were having ‘batti’ (on next table two more random guys were sitting, for convenience of my story, I will call them ‘Google boys’)

Addy: Oh damn, today again, I couldn’t find my right leg socks…see my legs, I am like posing for United Colors of Benetton, two different color socks 🙂
Totu: That’s usual… men are meant to lose 3 things… socks, mobile phones and heart 🙂
Addy: You are right… socks are meant to be lost… but of all the things that I lost, I miss my mind the most…
Totu: I can sense that… why don’t you take someone’s help to search it???
Addy: But whose help….who is out there to help me search stupid things… who, Totu, who? (That’s filmy…hee…hee…)

(The next table guys over heard conversation) Ta…da….!!!!! Google boys got the idea… a search engine… where people can search for anything and everything… (And thus Google was born and everyone lived happily after)

Google is quite smart… it remembers popular searches… and above is the snap shot of Google popular searches when I typed ‘how to’…

Interesting results… isn’t it…??? (Let me see what the world is up to???)

Its quite strange that most popular search is ‘how to get pregnant’… To, dear girl/ boy (who searched this)… if you are relying on search engine to find how to get pregnant then seriously you are not ready for THIS… so please don’t try it at home… after all its internet, if something goes wrong then you might end with Himesh Reshamiya or Terminator–V 🙂

Make love… this is tricky one… there is thin line between, making love, falling in love, being in love, in love, out love or just love love… hope you people got what you wanted to know about love… else call 18009734598, popular love guru helpline.

Lose weight…and lose weight fast???
At some turn in evolution humans obsessed with weight and oral hygiene and still lot are obsessed with weight reduction… come’on all you chubby people… you are already in shape, round is a shape… so be happy with the fact geometrically you are perfect 🙂
And people who are searching ways to lose weight in faster way… listen people, are you guys trying to set Guinness record or something???  Remember first of all you are fat and more over you are impatient… so you are prone to high BP… one day you will burst like water balloon… so take it slow and take it easy

Grow taller… weirdo… what you are trying to achieve… ask Giraffe what it achieved by growing tall… nothing, null, nil, zero (unless you want to get part time job as staircase)

Kiss… you definitely don’t need Google to teach you this… you need a counterpart who is proactive … so stop excessive browsing, close the browser, shutdown your computer and hit the street, go get some life and find someone… okay?

Download youtube videos, Jailbreak iphone 3gs, tie a tie and writing a resume… I have no expert comments on these… when I don’t want to play the game; I don’t even bother to check the rules… sorry!!!

You might be wondering what the heck I was searching???

I am so disciplined, with such an awesome presence of mind that I just can’t remember one or other thing…(by the way, today again, I didn’t find my right leg one black socks)
But this time I am searching for big thing… an apartment… so my search was ‘how to find a decent cheapest apartment near City Hall MRT’ 🙂

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hitch HIKE :-)

Its been long time since I posted… anyways don’t expect much from my side… after all I am not Paris Hilton to have 3 love affairs and 4 p*rn videos released in couple of months… (so sad nah…)
I had resolved to post at least one blog every month but I missed my deadline 😦 But this is the good thing about working as software engineer… even you miss a dead line still you ‘don’t mind’, knowing that deadlines are part of life and there will be incremental releases 🙂
You guys won’t believe but I was facing ‘writer’s block’… yup… in broad sense even we, bloggers, are writers, though I never heard any blogger getting Booker for his stupendous writings :-(. It’s not that NOW my life has become bland or not that I am so much involved in ‘Rakhi Ka Swayamvar’ that I forgot to post here… just I was waiting for some change to trigger me to write… Change (good/ bad) is mother of writing…
Finally after my companies bankruptcy, dried up cash reserve, and bailout news… I got the hike… How much??? Shhh… don’t you know it’s confidential and I can’t discuss that with you… but in short my hike is as good as winning 50 paisa in lottery… anyway in this recession year something is better than nothing… in fact, anything is OK…. and how am i feeling??? Hmmm…. feeling ‘as usual‘… That is one more thing assoicated with software engineer… over the period of time everything around us becomes so usual/ stereotype that sometime I don’t even bother to ignore/ notice things… Getting bored, getting pissed off, and getting hikes, friend’s friends going on-sites, close friends leaving company…. Every thing is usual…
So ”as usual” I got hike (of this year)… and… and… (after a paragraph distance) i am in party mood… so if any of you are celebrating your birthday or anniversary… or just feeling that your HR girl got married… then here i am waiting for invitation from you for the party 🙂

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Thank you – Arigatho

Since quite some time I am caught up with ‘thank-you’ syndrome (though publicly rarely I show it). Thanks to all those award functions, starting from Oscar-BAFTA to our local Filmfare – cine awards, for infecting me with this syndrome. I find awards functions are quite nice, whether true from heart or not… people are eager to express ‘thanks’ to every other person… In any average award function there are only three kinds of people… one who read ‘thank-you’ note after getting award, one who’s name is mentioned in that ‘thank-you’ note and one who cleans the mess after award ceremony is over…

I, the ‘thank-you-syndrome-infected’, wanted to read out ‘thank-you’ note… And… and finally I got the occasion to read out that ‘thank you’ note… yes… my blog site’s hit count has crossed 1000 🙂

So here I am expressing my heartily thanks to…
Blogspot.com, for providing place to usher my thoughts. In software engineer’s stereotype life apart from kitchen (where one can try different weird recipes) blogs are only place where one can express ‘self’… I am here not to make sense all the time… I am here just to see how many of you can take sense of my non-sense and laugh.

Mr. Laxman, for writing first hate message on my board… I appreciate your hate for my writings… I know God-must-be-drunk is quite weird… but didn’t find better name… anyway ‘what’s there in name?’… right???
[Oh…I deleted that hate message :-)]

– Guys and gals from 37 countries who visited my blog site… cool… I got a hit from ‘Azerbaijan… thanks dude for improving my knowledge… now I know about your beautiful country ‘Azerbaijan’

– High school English teacher, for teaching me English… though I use coarse, sarcastic wordings to express my dry jokes…

– Weird surrounding and different kinds of people around me, for giving me chance to observe things in my own multi-dimensional way and scribble my thoughts here… special thanks to reality TV shows such as M TV Roadies, SplitsVilla and news channels which have more opinion than information

Last but not the least (in fact most importantly), thank you very very much, to all those people who came out bravely to vote today, in those violent areas…
And advance thanks to everyone who gonna vote…ACHCHE KO CHUNEY… SACHCHE KO CHUNEY… (Vote a good person… vote a true person)

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Cheaper world

In great investor Warren Buffet’s words, “sell, when others are buying and buy, when others are selling

And looks like everyone in Bangalore is selling one or other thing and at cheaper rates… cars, flats, clothes, ash trays, under wears, socks… you name it and you will get some discount… If some are selling things at discounted prices then some are giving lucrative offers on purchase… If you just pass 10 shops, at least 8 will have board of discount offers… people are so eager to sell that one of the hoardings read, ‘buy 1 flat and get another flat free’. (Of course conditions applied)

Freakonomist’s sarcasm: The item you want the most in a sale will have ‘no-discount’ tag or will be out of stock.

Everyone is ready to sell to make ‘some’ money in this economical hard time but purchaser, following the proverb ‘save it for rainy day’, is not ready to take out penny from his packet in this time (In SW terms it is classic example of dead-lock 🙂

With so many discounts and promotion prices…I feel world around me has become cheaper place… not only in terms of materials but ironically also in terms of people …Yes… it is general election time and leaders (self-proclaimed) of biggest democracy of the world have started their cheap dramas and cheap speeches… if some wants to cut hand, other wants to cut fingers… if some wants road-roll the opponent the other is giving money to buy votes, if some one promising rice @ 2rupees, few are giving color TVs to forget the old promises… looks like politicians are competing each other to fall the chasm of ethics… bloody hell :(. Things are cheaper then why not enjoy it… so I have switched from ‘Reality-shows’ to political news (to get my dose of cheap thrills)…

Oh… by the way… I bought Whirlpool fully automatic washing machine at a discounted price… why??? I need it, it is cheap, it has ‘lucky-draw’ offer and more over some one has to buy when some is selling… so that is my small contribution towards moving economy 🙂

Mood of the day: Generally Fridays are nice (TGIF)… and holiday on Friday is like getting 90% discount… so Happy Good Friday… or should I say Better Friday 🙂

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Wondering what is the link between a fool and finance… apart from the fact that few fools of Wall-Street have screwed up the finance… Hmm…. Financial year begins on April 1st, the ‘fool’s day’🙂Out of 365 days of the year… why on fool’s day financial year begins… is it mere coincidence or a cosmic conspiracy by Martians to make fool out of earthlings???April 1st is spent doing pranks, spreading hoax… everyone get their share of joy… but looks like this time around only companies (especially finance fellows) get lion’s share by fooling us with rumors of hikes and bonuses…

Anyway I am gonna stick to spirit of fool… oops… sorry… fool’s day… and wish you all happy fool’s day and New Financial Year (one and the same)

Haan… In good old fashion, for this New Year (financial a.k.a Fool’s day), I have made some resolutions
Will not believe in salary hike letters unless it is deposited to my account.
I am not gonna entertain talks like “my friend’s friend got 40% hike” or “my friend’s friend got bonus” unless your friend’s friend gives me treat 🙂
— If your friend’s cousin is going for long term onsite then please don’t share the news with me… when I become jealous, I become violent.
— Will be in ‘Don’t-panic’ state till my company locks its doors and sells my PC
— I will be more focused… I am gonna ignore all the news about bail outs, rolling heads, mergers… all I focus is my pay, my EMI and my account balance.
— Will be more social… will attend all functions, parties, get-to-gathers in which I get free food and drinks.

Fool proof wisdom:

Every man is a damn fool for at least five minutes every day; wisdom consists of not exceeding that limit

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Small is revolution

There was a time when things grew in size… Dinosaurs, Pyramids, Eiffel Tower, Coliseum… even a compound wall was built in such a scale that people call it ‘Great wall of China’… once upon a time a computer used to occupy whole building… and suddenly everyone decided to make smaller things… small PCs, Laptops, small cars… mini-meals… and suddenly people started thinking, “small, indeed is the revolution” and some became technically-philosophical to coin the quote ‘world is becoming smaller’

Macro became mini, mini became micro and finally micro became NANO… Yes, Tata’s dream car, NANO, world’s cheapest, small car is launched… but it always takes a BIG dream and BIGGER thinking to make these small things…

Will this small car gonna change the automotive world???
Some say yes… things will change… may be one might have noticed that big gramophones were replaced by i-pods… Some say NANO will not change anything… they have plenty more reasons to say NO… after all appreciation and cynicism are two faces of same coin…

You buy it or not… Nano has already changed lot many things…
– It is hot topic for ‘analysts’ to study ‘impact of NANO on middle class’
– For environmentalists it has already raised pollution concerns…
– For my roomie Gubbi it is example for Fortune at the bottom of pyramid.
– For politicians it is one more issue to do circus.
– For bloggers and TV channels, one more topic to fill their spaces with reviews and views.

I am not gonna buy it… but NANO already made its small impact on my thinking… Now as I am totally convinced that era of cheaper, smaller technology is here and to keep up with the fashion… I am gonna think discrete, try to find fun in small things and also I am gonna write nice, funny, small blogs…

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