Archive for the ‘wedding’ Category

Blisss WEDS trick

[Achtung: This is work of fiction and handy work of burnt brain cells… my would-be-wife please don’t read it seriously.]
Marriage is very tricky” – I am not really good in counting… but I think its 9th time my friend (Married And Confused… MAC) mentioned this line in last 4mins… I just assumed that it is new wedding bliss…

Last November, I could really tell ‘marriages were in air’… as I attended lots of weddings, receptions and engagements… I felt as if ‘best deal’ sale was going on for marriages… yuppy… loads of free food 🙂

In (now married)Bhatta’s words… “You may deny or may be selective about accepting reality… but truth is ‘It’s the time’ 🙂“.
He is right… my family is taking marriage issue seriously… more than them my relatives wants to see my wedding… either they think it is first of its kind… or they want break from daily operas and look for new time pass…

But… am I ready for it??? In some sense (probably non-sense)… Yes, I am… of course I have nice job (though my company needs bailout every weekend to run projects), I lead quite stable life (though Saturday morning I need strong lemon soda to remind myself that I am not Katrina 🙂), I am responsible (shit… power cut.. didn’t I pay bills, again?), I am matured (just read this blog 🙂)

Me: “How did you decide to marry the girl whom you are married now?”
MAC: “Oh… when it happens… it just happens”
Me: “Did you say shit happens? Or plainly you meant… if anything has to go wrong… it will go wrong??”
MAC: “Noo… Noo….. Marriage is tricky, you know” [this line is still sounded like the one which you hear from dumb news reader… you don’t know if it is true but it is repeated all day]

Useless quote: I heard it from greater than greatest person that marriage is like buying mobile phone… once you get one, you always feel, if you waited some more time, you could have got latest one at much cheaper price” [may be this guy was hit badly by his wife after marriage… so my would-be-wifey… this is not my feeling… but just quoting it]

Do I fit in girl’s requirement??? So decided to ask my friend who coincidentally Born As Girl(BAG)
Me: “So…your parents must be searching groom for you?”
BAG: “Yes… they started long back… but even I need to decide who I should marry”
Me: “So you already got one… or have a requirement for that”
BAG: “I have requirements… He should be tall (giraffe make good husband???), dark (yes, Obama boys), handsome (it is subjective)… cool (I am), calm (depends), silent (while sleeping)…”
(If you combine all these traits all you can visualize is the 9 feet statue of Shivaji Maharaj standing in the circle :-))

Useless quote: I am not afraid of terrorist… I am already married 🙂 [Does this fellow who quoted this line wanted to spread fact that his wife is actually a BOMB :-)]

Even we guys will have requirements…
Me: “How did you decide to marry the girl with whom you are married now?”
MAC: “See… girl should be sensible, caring, less spending, and less talkative, less annoying… but we are grown-ups… so do we believe in these myths??? Noo…. Noo… so follow one standard rule, marry the girl who is good looking… you know it’s quite tricky:)”

Drastic changes… that is what I fear though I always tell ‘change is good’. So what can be those changes??? I have to get accustomed to more laws (mother-in-law, father-in-law, brother-in-law), I have to accept permitted non-changability (starting from hair style till job, I need Vito from my wifey), can’t flirt with her best friend (lose right of creativity), have to tolerate her cousins (apart from my already existing nosy cousins), learn to be patient (have to wait months till she goes to her parents house and I get chance to booze whole night 🙂

Me: “Do you feel the loss of free will?”
MAC: “noo…noo… not at all… free will prevails… but hers…”
Me: “I am sorry… so was it good as bachelor?”
MAC: “Earlier it was my PM who used to control my free will by giving me hell lot of work, it was my company HR who controlled my free will of dressing… but NOW my WIFE controls it… but see the positive side, someone inside my family exploiting my free-will not out siders:-)”

Like two sides of coin… every head has a tail…(whatever that means)
There are some positive things about marriage… I can go places (buy cooker in commercial street and to buy its gasket go to Jayanagar), I can become Neil Armstrong (will get chance to go honey-MOON), I can increase my list of people whom I can hate and use bad words (my cousin-in-laws included to the list now), will have more social life (though might lose few of my good old ever laughing friends as SHE will hate them for sure) but will get chance to know more girls (her friends)… so as per my calculation I will be knowing more girls after marriage than I know as bachelor)… I can be excused from late night work at office (do they make married guys work late night???… at least I never seen)

Me: “Our ancestors never got married…. But some-how evolution took drastic change and humans started marriages… at times we hate it, at times we love it… we take it lightly and yet we are serious about it…Right… bro??”
MAC: “That’s very well said… Marriage is very tricky, my boy”
Me: “I shouldn’t ask this… but I can’t control it anymore… Is marriage so magical that you actually call it magic trick?”
MAC: “Noo… noo…. my family TRICKED me to get married… otherwise, I was happy singing, dancing, shouting, drinking bachelor :-)”


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I always hated Monday mornings… , ‘I hate stereotype schedules‘ which start with Mondays… (if one day, I become ALMIGHTY… I will abolish these stupid Mondays forever… problem of Tuesdays becoming Mondays after Monday is abolished will be considered later… see already Monday morning confusions) and today sitting in office, I can proudly say the ‘I have got PhD in hating Mondays’…

Off lately (in my second innings), I am not finding anything eventful in Mysore… so coming back from Bangalore after nice, SPIRITED weekend.. I start hating this place more than anything… some peaceful guys out there claim “given a chance they will shift to Mysore…” I want to ask,”what is there in Mysore??”… There are no traffic jams (you can’t checkout any girls stranding in traffic signal), there is no pollution (what u want to do with nice unburnt lungs….live more… yaaa.. yaa…and do what?? Work for few extra years…), it is calm (as if you gonna practice singing), our college is here (means what… you, baaching geddes)… anyway sucking decision, sucking job…so i am here now. 

Ok..ok..was talking about Monday… I usually get these MMS (Monday morning Syndrome)… may be even you people get it… my symptoms are clear.. I usually go into virtual hangover of weekend and start countdown (in nano seconds) for next weekend… And to add spice to my pain, here in this office I have to wear a neck tie and full formals on Mondays… which gives me feeling that I am attending a wedding reception’…

[I think I got the next thread here…I am too good in connecting things].

Sunday I attended a reception (real one)… It was love marriage… (what’s the big deal anthira…) Hmm… it was the gift given to the couple, which made me laugh… ‘A Blanket’… comm’on, a Blanket for newly married couple…!!! (No…no…nothing wrong in it… it is just one more gift…). But are we unconsciously trying to encourage the population growth, by gifting Blanket to newly married couple, that also in damn cold winter… [Huufff…aadi… too bad… think normal 🙂

Marriages, receptions are good place to meet people… but i am not much a social animal (I attend these functions for free food) But apart from eating food, i consider, it is my social responsibility to scan the mosaic picture of function…… girls wearing nice sarees (ya… she was looking cute) and more girls wearing nice sarees… On the other side, ‘conscious’ guys walking around ‘restlessly’ to bump into some girls… if the guy is little sensitive then he will start imagining himself standing as ‘groom’ and one of the saree girl as ‘bride’…(hee…hee…imagination at work :)…. and what more can you expect in such function… or may be these functions are meant to trigger such things…. (but for me… its all about Food.. nice free food:).

I was trying to avoid people… (as i knew few) so my concentration was on her… yup on her… that Saree, ear-rings, her talking, her bubbly walk…oh my God!!!… she was looking like goddess [really… ask Totu, if you don’t believe me]. But the strange moment was, when ‘dummi’ introduced me to a girl (sorry but I can’t remember names)… and that girl wanted to ‘see’ me it seems, (that is some real wish never seen among mammals…) Huaaa…huaaa… I felt, am I a Dinosaur or a King Kong, which she has never seen and wanted to see ONE… (which made me conveniently forget her name)… And apart from a simple ‘HI’, i forgot all the possible words which I did learn in last 25 years… (Hold on, boss… not that I was dumb stuck) but what to talk to her..? or How can I build a conversation with someone, who made me feel that that I am RARE Dinosaur, which is wandering in reception !!!! [blank…blank…]

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