hitch HIKE :-)

Its been long time since I posted… anyways don’t expect much from my side… after all I am not Paris Hilton to have 3 love affairs and 4 p*rn videos released in couple of months… (so sad nah…)
I had resolved to post at least one blog every month but I missed my deadline 😦 But this is the good thing about working as software engineer… even you miss a dead line still you ‘don’t mind’, knowing that deadlines are part of life and there will be incremental releases 🙂
You guys won’t believe but I was facing ‘writer’s block’… yup… in broad sense even we, bloggers, are writers, though I never heard any blogger getting Booker for his stupendous writings :-(. It’s not that NOW my life has become bland or not that I am so much involved in ‘Rakhi Ka Swayamvar’ that I forgot to post here… just I was waiting for some change to trigger me to write… Change (good/ bad) is mother of writing…
Finally after my companies bankruptcy, dried up cash reserve, and bailout news… I got the hike… How much??? Shhh… don’t you know it’s confidential and I can’t discuss that with you… but in short my hike is as good as winning 50 paisa in lottery… anyway in this recession year something is better than nothing… in fact, anything is OK…. and how am i feeling??? Hmmm…. feeling ‘as usual‘… That is one more thing assoicated with software engineer… over the period of time everything around us becomes so usual/ stereotype that sometime I don’t even bother to ignore/ notice things… Getting bored, getting pissed off, and getting hikes, friend’s friends going on-sites, close friends leaving company…. Every thing is usual…
So ”as usual” I got hike (of this year)… and… and… (after a paragraph distance) i am in party mood… so if any of you are celebrating your birthday or anniversary… or just feeling that your HR girl got married… then here i am waiting for invitation from you for the party 🙂

Thank you – Arigatho

Since quite some time I am caught up with ‘thank-you’ syndrome (though publicly rarely I show it). Thanks to all those award functions, starting from Oscar-BAFTA to our local Filmfare – cine awards, for infecting me with this syndrome. I find awards functions are quite nice, whether true from heart or not… people are eager to express ‘thanks’ to every other person… In any average award function there are only three kinds of people… one who read ‘thank-you’ note after getting award, one who’s name is mentioned in that ‘thank-you’ note and one who cleans the mess after award ceremony is over…

I, the ‘thank-you-syndrome-infected’, wanted to read out ‘thank-you’ note… And… and finally I got the occasion to read out that ‘thank you’ note… yes… my blog site’s hit count has crossed 1000 🙂

So here I am expressing my heartily thanks to…
Blogspot.com, for providing place to usher my thoughts. In software engineer’s stereotype life apart from kitchen (where one can try different weird recipes) blogs are only place where one can express ‘self’… I am here not to make sense all the time… I am here just to see how many of you can take sense of my non-sense and laugh.

Mr. Laxman, for writing first hate message on my board… I appreciate your hate for my writings… I know God-must-be-drunk is quite weird… but didn’t find better name… anyway ‘what’s there in name?’… right???
[Oh…I deleted that hate message :-)]

– Guys and gals from 37 countries who visited my blog site… cool… I got a hit from ‘Azerbaijan… thanks dude for improving my knowledge… now I know about your beautiful country ‘Azerbaijan’

– High school English teacher, for teaching me English… though I use coarse, sarcastic wordings to express my dry jokes…

– Weird surrounding and different kinds of people around me, for giving me chance to observe things in my own multi-dimensional way and scribble my thoughts here… special thanks to reality TV shows such as M TV Roadies, SplitsVilla and news channels which have more opinion than information

Last but not the least (in fact most importantly), thank you very very much, to all those people who came out bravely to vote today, in those violent areas…
And advance thanks to everyone who gonna vote…ACHCHE KO CHUNEY… SACHCHE KO CHUNEY… (Vote a good person… vote a true person)

Cheaper world

In great investor Warren Buffet’s words, “sell, when others are buying and buy, when others are selling

And looks like everyone in Bangalore is selling one or other thing and at cheaper rates… cars, flats, clothes, ash trays, under wears, socks… you name it and you will get some discount… If some are selling things at discounted prices then some are giving lucrative offers on purchase… If you just pass 10 shops, at least 8 will have board of discount offers… people are so eager to sell that one of the hoardings read, ‘buy 1 flat and get another flat free’. (Of course conditions applied)

Freakonomist’s sarcasm: The item you want the most in a sale will have ‘no-discount’ tag or will be out of stock.

Everyone is ready to sell to make ‘some’ money in this economical hard time but purchaser, following the proverb ‘save it for rainy day’, is not ready to take out penny from his packet in this time (In SW terms it is classic example of dead-lock 🙂

With so many discounts and promotion prices…I feel world around me has become cheaper place… not only in terms of materials but ironically also in terms of people …Yes… it is general election time and leaders (self-proclaimed) of biggest democracy of the world have started their cheap dramas and cheap speeches… if some wants to cut hand, other wants to cut fingers… if some wants road-roll the opponent the other is giving money to buy votes, if some one promising rice @ 2rupees, few are giving color TVs to forget the old promises… looks like politicians are competing each other to fall the chasm of ethics… bloody hell :(. Things are cheaper then why not enjoy it… so I have switched from ‘Reality-shows’ to political news (to get my dose of cheap thrills)…

Oh… by the way… I bought Whirlpool fully automatic washing machine at a discounted price… why??? I need it, it is cheap, it has ‘lucky-draw’ offer and more over some one has to buy when some is selling… so that is my small contribution towards moving economy 🙂

Mood of the day: Generally Fridays are nice (TGIF)… and holiday on Friday is like getting 90% discount… so Happy Good Friday… or should I say Better Friday 🙂

Freakonomy – Fool’s day

Wondering what is the link between a fool and finance… apart from the fact that few fools of Wall-Street have screwed up the finance… Hmm…. Financial year begins on April 1st, the ‘fool’s day’🙂Out of 365 days of the year… why on fool’s day financial year begins… is it mere coincidence or a cosmic conspiracy by Martians to make fool out of earthlings???April 1st is spent doing pranks, spreading hoax… everyone get their share of joy… but looks like this time around only companies (especially finance fellows) get lion’s share by fooling us with rumors of hikes and bonuses…

Anyway I am gonna stick to spirit of fool… oops… sorry… fool’s day… and wish you all happy fool’s day and New Financial Year (one and the same)

Haan… In good old fashion, for this New Year (financial a.k.a Fool’s day), I have made some resolutions
Will not believe in salary hike letters unless it is deposited to my account.
I am not gonna entertain talks like “my friend’s friend got 40% hike” or “my friend’s friend got bonus” unless your friend’s friend gives me treat 🙂
— If your friend’s cousin is going for long term onsite then please don’t share the news with me… when I become jealous, I become violent.
— Will be in ‘Don’t-panic’ state till my company locks its doors and sells my PC
— I will be more focused… I am gonna ignore all the news about bail outs, rolling heads, mergers… all I focus is my pay, my EMI and my account balance.
— Will be more social… will attend all functions, parties, get-to-gathers in which I get free food and drinks.

Fool proof wisdom:

Every man is a damn fool for at least five minutes every day; wisdom consists of not exceeding that limit

Small is revolution

There was a time when things grew in size… Dinosaurs, Pyramids, Eiffel Tower, Coliseum… even a compound wall was built in such a scale that people call it ‘Great wall of China’… once upon a time a computer used to occupy whole building… and suddenly everyone decided to make smaller things… small PCs, Laptops, small cars… mini-meals… and suddenly people started thinking, “small, indeed is the revolution” and some became technically-philosophical to coin the quote ‘world is becoming smaller’

Macro became mini, mini became micro and finally micro became NANO… Yes, Tata’s dream car, NANO, world’s cheapest, small car is launched… but it always takes a BIG dream and BIGGER thinking to make these small things…

Will this small car gonna change the automotive world???
Some say yes… things will change… may be one might have noticed that big gramophones were replaced by i-pods… Some say NANO will not change anything… they have plenty more reasons to say NO… after all appreciation and cynicism are two faces of same coin…

You buy it or not… Nano has already changed lot many things…
– It is hot topic for ‘analysts’ to study ‘impact of NANO on middle class’
– For environmentalists it has already raised pollution concerns…
– For my roomie Gubbi it is example for Fortune at the bottom of pyramid.
– For politicians it is one more issue to do circus.
– For bloggers and TV channels, one more topic to fill their spaces with reviews and views.

I am not gonna buy it… but NANO already made its small impact on my thinking… Now as I am totally convinced that era of cheaper, smaller technology is here and to keep up with the fashion… I am gonna think discrete, try to find fun in small things and also I am gonna write nice, funny, small blogs…


March is colorful month… thanks to festival of colors, Holi… but looks like I am not gonna enjoy this time… I have God damn office to attend… I love holidays… but this time no holiday on Holi-day :(. I really hate festivals which come on weekend (what is the point of having a holiday on a weekend) and I really, really hate festivals which fall on weekdays and my HR thinks we should work on that day… Anyway recession is not a nice time to live your life on your terms but agree to what your company says… so I will be sitting in office staring my monitor pixels… still I would like to thank my company for providing me COLOR monitor 🙂

Why we play Holi… it is the time when we let colors take over our true shades… we may be anything from inside… selfish, jealous, stupid, arrogant, nice, innocent, bustard, bit*h but under the cover of bright nice colors on face, we can be totally different person… was it philosophical…. haan

Colors are so colorful right??? But colors stand for different things…
Colors convey message
– Danger Red, Love red (Danger == Love???)
– Lonely Blue, Dark Heart, ever Green. Gay pink
Sometimes Colors speak more than words
– Traffic signals (red, yellow, green) say you to stop and go (though no one follows)
– (Infamous) pink slips and Pink Chaddis

Sometimes colors are never really stand for colors… When I say Forum is colorful place, it is not because of United Colors of Benetton shop… but babes of Forum :0)
Small Assignment: Decode this line… My company is not a colorful place!!!

Everyone loves colors… imagine life without colors… Don’t pump blood to your brain to imagine colorless world… Just turn off color of your TV and watch M-TV… You got it, man… Watching colorless fashion shows are as good as drinking warm beer with broken straw 😦 so thank you very much Mr. X who invented colors.

Like different shades of colors, different people have different ways of celebrating festival of colors… students will have full blast where as software engineers send colorful forwards… and yesterday I saw on TV that even politicians celebrate Holi, just to hide their cunning faces from voters :-

Bollywood films are biggest takers of this festival… Simply it is the most celebrated festival in films… in 70’s, it was virtual rule that every film should have a song on Holi, where in actor and actress splash colors on each other… and express their loves in colorful and wet way… And hope you guys remember the evergreen dialogue from the film, Sholay, “Holi kab hai? Kab hai Holi?”

How I USED to celebrate???… Oh… that was long back… in College… so many colors, many more shades, hell lot of fun, ear drum tearing laughter, shouting and buckets of colored water… and ultimately all drenched shirt hanging to the tamarind tree of hostel :-

Anyway with time things change… so I am no more in college and my good OLD friends have really become OLD… So we celebrate HOLI in mail chains, forwards and SMSes… Whatever it is, the SPIRIT of festival remains HIGH.
Wish you happy and colorful Holiand let there be colors in your lives 🙂

piSSed oFF :-|

Smoking reduces life by 5mins, beer reduces life by 10mins… but what about compulsory working on weekend… it reduces your life by 9-10 hours… and guess what… this week I am going to lose few more extra hours of my life by working on weekend because someone in city did a strike on weekday (office was shut that day… and we have to compensate for that)… and yes… I am pissed off.
Do you know, as per the world famous survey (which I did last night), ‘I AM PISSED OFF‘ is the most commonly used line among English speaking vertebrates… ‘I LOVE BEER’ and ‘THIS JOB SUCKS‘ stand second and third… (Oh… I LOVE YOU… that’s for dumb population)

Pissed off… Not sure when it was coined but was mentioned in 1984 book ‘workers at risk’… (Very sensible…who else than workers will be pissed off)
Useless Info:
Pissed off (adj): Aroused to impatience or anger… e.g. I was pissed off by her snootiness.
If you are really really pissed off… use more pissed off/ most pissed off… not pissed ON!!!

Why I get pissed off??? Really… wonder do people really need reason to get pissed off… I think it is our legal right (and most of you agree…) to get pissed off. I bet very soon it will be included in the list basic rights given to us by constitution…
Amendment No 8765.32: Right to be pissed off‘ 🙂

Given every slightest reason, I can get pissed off… and if I don’t get reason, I simply search one to get pissed off, and if I can’t search one then, I simply get pissed off for not having reason to get pissed off… Ufff… (Am I addicted to it???).
Fortunately I find hell lot of reasons to get pissed off… If I don’t find the news paper in door way, if my apartment lift isn’t working, if mallu uncle of bakery gives less tea for 3 Rs, if traffic police gets hold of me for license, traffic jams while returning from office, if cafeteria ‘rasam’ tasted like beetle juice, seeing nosy colleague wearing yellow socks… so on… so on…

Reason for getting pissed off can have circular logic… when petrol rate reached 55Rs… I was pissed off as ‘life moving’ fuel was costlier than ‘intoxicating beer’… and when petrol rate decreased… I was annoyed again that I have to pay more for ‘air polluting’ petrol than ‘life soothing’ beer.

Insane Discovery: Kangaroo rats never get pissed off… as they don’t drink water!!!

Reasons for being pissed off can be contradictory… I get pissed off with questions.
– Why are you not getting married? Do you drive on other side of the road?
– I heard your company is bankrupt…do they pay you salary or give money plants?
Sometime answers drive me crazy…
– I like you… but you look like my cousin (when I gave pink rose to a girl on rose day)
– You get hike depending on market rate (are you talking about fish market?)

‘Sharing is fun’ that’s what we were taught… that is true… there are things which gives pleasure when shared .. like your work or last peg from your friend… just like that… even annoyance can be shared… if you think getting pissed off is fun then sharing it with others is euphoria…
– You are not happy with the fact that there is no hike this time and when you share this with your friend who is already annoyed with job cuts…. and imagine the fun of together scolding companies, economy, bailouts, Lehman brothers …

Insane Rule: A person remains in state of pissed off unless he is provoked and become more pissed off or soothed by looking at a looser who is most pissed off than himself/herself.

Is it wrong to get pissed off??? (Repeated questions also drive me nuts…)

Not at all… virtually we have every RIGHT (and practically LEFT also) to do so and it is fun. Why not… it is the meta-state in which you can avoid unwanted people (don’t come near me, I am in bad mood)…. you can avoid work (I will do this task tomorrow… I am pretty much pissed off today) or you can simply write a blog about stupidest topic so far called ‘PISSED OFF‘… 🙂